1993…

Nolan (Singing to himself): Well, everybody hurts sometimes, Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes…

Nolan: Damn. I can’t get that song out of my head. I wonder who sings it? Kids these days and their grunge music.

Announcer: Now Batting… for the Chicago White Sox… Robin Ventura

(Mild applause)

Nolan (to himself): Man this guy is stepping in close to the plate. Doesn’t he have any respect for his elders. If only there was a way that I could make him fear me. But what can I do? I’m only a lowely pitcher who throws 100 mph fast balls and a curve ball that defies gravity.

(Nolan wipes his brow)

Eureka! I haven’t beemed anyone in a while. I think I’ll aim for his shoulder blade… you know…for pain.

(Nolan places a fastball in the back of Robin Ventura)

Nolan: Bullseye. Youve still got that magic touch Noly. Wait a minute… he looks pissed…is he coming at me? What a moron! Now i’ve got to teach this kid a second lesson  about respecting your elders. How will I ever get through to these kids? I’ll have to give him the old Texas Panhandle… that’s right… the ol’ headlock and six punches to the face. I’m glad his mother isn’t around to see a 46 year old pummel her 26 year old son.

(Pictured below… Nolan Ryan after taking a line drive from Bo Jackson)

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