Looking good in the 90s was tough on so many levels.

Think about it:

• Parachute pants and oversized flannel shirts flattered no one (especially if worn together. Eeek.)
• Overly layered hair (read: “the Rachel”) only worked if you were, in fact, Jennifer Aniston.
• Doc Martens in any form should never be worn. By anyone. Ever.

And those are merely a few of the fashion gems we all (admit it) embraced.

Perhaps we needed all of that extra fabric, big hair & large shoes to cover up what was going on underneath…

Despite solid efforts by Billy Blanks & Suzanne Sommers, the 90s kicked off one of the most unfortunate trends:

FAT FREE.

You couldn’t walk down a grocery store aisle without seeing those magic words on every other product. I think it’s safe to say that almost all of our favorite snacks & treats were suddenly available sans fat. Some mysterious new chemical (that will do things to your digestive track you would not wish on your worst enemy) replaced the au natural “fat” previously being used. Ironically, all in the name of health.

We (and by we, I mean all stupid Americans) embraced this new trend as a gift from the heavens and took it as a free pass to triple portion sizes. Calories, schmalories.

A few of my former “fat free” faves:

Frozen yogurt

(in a large waffle cone, obviously)

Anything by Snack Wells

Cream Cheese

(which I would pour a tablespoon of salt on top of to give it some flavor. Cause that’s healthy)

Spray butter

This one grosses me out the most. What the hell is in that container? Butter is not supposed to be sprayed. It’s not a chemical cleaner. Or is it?

Toward the end of the 90s, a funny thing happened.

No one lost any weight.

Actually, we were all fatter (one of the fattest countries in the world - America!). Finally the FDA came out and told us what common sense should have.

Calories count too.

WHAT?!?! We all screamed in genuine horror. How is this possible? It wasn’t magic sugar air I was eating 5 times a day? I simply cannot believe it. There must be someone I can sue!

Though the fat-free craze has died in its popularity, as with all trends, it has been replaced. Now we’re all supposed eat things that are “natural” or “whole grain” or if you’re really ritzy, “organic”. Seems like a better choice, but I’m not convinced that there isn’t a catch.

I’m sure we’ll all find out in a few years that we’re better off with white bread and fruit from a can. But until then, I’m off to Whole Paycheck Foods to buy my flax seed 7 grain organic yeast-free bread. And clearly, given my healthy choice in carbs, I’m a-okay to melt a half a stick of real butter on top, right?

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