Awesomely Bad 90’s Toy Commercials
The high quality graphics, the catchy jingles, the cheesy lines - all must-haves that make this list of awesomely bad toy commercials from the 90’s possible.
It’s hard to believe how well the advertising worked back in the day, never failing to strongly influence our birthday/holiday wish lists. With the internet not yet a major part of our lives, we relied on TV to tell us what was cool. If not TV, then it was a friend’s toy collection and begging our parents for whatever could give us a one-up on the playground. Let’s face it, life was super complicated back then.
Now take a trip down memory lane and relive some special moments that provided a buffer between segments of our fave Nickelodeon programming:
Toys R Us
They really beat this tagline into our heads, didn’t they?
Polly Pocket
Holy choking hazard, these toys were smaller than a child’s fingertips.
Cool Tools
Cool cool cool.. cool tools! Oh, the minimalist lyrics.
Talkback/Dear Diary
Hands off, creep!
Micro Machines
Can’t blame them for not maximizing the voice over in a 30 sec ad.
Puppy Surprise
A somewhat misleading message to girls: surprise! you’re pregnant with multiples.
Skip-it
Skiiiip it, skiiip it! Can’t.get.this.jingle.outta.my.head.
Crocodile Mile
You run, you slide, you hit the bump and take a dive!
Gator Golf
Hey Dad, give it a whack!
Talkboy
The (highly realistic) parental imitation made easy with speed control.
Sky Dancers
Reaaally? Really? Also, what other toys were manufactured by Galoob? Hopefully, none.
Mr. Bucket
Put your balls in my mouth!
Nerf Arrow Storm
The forecast: Stormmmmm! Thanks to Devon Sawa.
Super Soaker
Take that, Buffy!
late addition thanks to the digg community:
Crossfire
Cross fiya!!!
Other stuff you’ll like from IceIceBabies:
Top Cartoon Show Intros of the 90s
NBA’s Memorable White Guys
Top 10 TV Houses of the 90s
Celebrity Crushes of the 90s
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July 22nd, 2009 at 10:05 am
the 90’s were the best time of my life!
no matter how weird the tv ad’s were
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:14 am
Man…I cried for a PollyPocket…then I swallowed Polly and all I had left was a pocket. =( Now she’s lame. She’s the size of my thumb.
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Awesomely Bad 90’s Toy Commercials (Videos)…
The high quality graphics, the catchy jingles, the cheesy lines - all must-haves that make this list of awesomely bad toy commercials from the 90’s possible. Now take a trip down memory lane and relive some special moments that provided a buffer betw…
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Los peores anuncios de juguetes de los 90…
Es difícil creer como los anuncios funcionan hoy en día, nunca fallan en influirnos en nuestra lista de regalos de cumpleaños/vacaciones. Con Internet, sin ser una gran parte de nuestra vida, confiábamos en la televisión para que nos dijera que es…
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:01 pm
CROOSSSS FFFFFIIIYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:08 pm
LMFAO @ the Crossfire song. I can just see some medal head in the recording studio, “CROSSFIRE!!!!!!!!!”
When I was little I wanted the puppy surprise, but my dad wouldn’t let me have it. Kind of glad now.
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:10 pm
I remember most of these commercials. especially the skip-it and gator golf. I never realized until now how cheesy those commercials were.
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Oh man what sweet memories
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:21 pm
I remember being a kid and laughing about “Mr Bucket, put your balls in my top. Mr Bucket, and they come out my mouth” Ha Ha. I swear growing up in the 90’s was legendary because marketers for kids were at the top of their game.
Doesn’t it look like the same company produced every commercial? They all had the same formula!
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:40 pm
I remember all of those..I never thought anything of the mr bucket..balls in his top.
The 90s were the best!
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:00 pm
I remember all of these commercials! Wow they seem so much cheesier now, but I guess it just shows that kids do not recognize advertising in the same way adults do. Crossfire ruled tho! I wish I still had that.
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Well for all the bad adverts that we were inundated with during the 90’s I feel you didn’t really pick the “Awesomely Bad” ones or at least not the worst anyway. 5/10 for effort, but there is a lot worse
July 22nd, 2009 at 8:20 pm
For some reason, I can picture Adam Lambert re-doing the Crossfire Jingle
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:14 pm
[...] Awesomely Bad 90’s Toy Commercials. For example. Micro Machines. Smaller than a nut. Except a certain kind of nut. The ones in my pants. Pine nuts. Yes, I carry pine nuts. Healthy. Also, I still knew all the words to the Skip-it commercial. Which is why I have no real nuts to speak of (Via Ice Ice Babies) Share Now! [...]
July 24th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
It’s weird, I saw these so often as a kid that seeing them again feels natural and makes me think I’m watching TV at my childhood house.
August 3rd, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Sweet, I remember a time when having a Tiger Talkboy was like my life’s greatest ambition.
August 10th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
OMG Crossfire! I remember that blasted thing. I wanted one so hardcore back in the day.
August 18th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
To this day, “Hiii kiddsss weee’re hooome eeearlyyyy…” echoes throughout my nightmares.
September 10th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
I love the song for crossfire, but I have no idea what the heck they are playing, and I really don’t think I ever have.
September 10th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Ha! I would always end up looking my skiptits for some reason…
September 18th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Wow, the puppy surprise is just wrong. I cannot believe I missed that commercial years ago.