Before Janet Jackson’s “If“, Ciara’s “Love Sex Magic” or Britney’s CRAZYTOWN USA, Paula Abdul was paving the way with her very own blend of mediocre singing combined with killer choreography.

Back in the day she was headlining concert venues, dating Emilio Estevez and actually winning Grammys (reason #1,452 the Grammys are hardly the barometer for good music, but I digress).

True to form, there were rumors about drug use, depression, bullemia, etc (all of which she addressed in her straight-to-the-bargain-bucket tell-all “All the Right Moves”), but at the end of the day, she had quite a following. Who didn’t pretend to be Skat Cat in “Forever Your Girl“? Or make up your very version of the “Straight Up“? (No? Just me? Oh.)

In the early 2000s, she pulled the comeback of the century, somehow snagging herself a spot as one of the judges on the juggernut “American Idol”. She used this platform to spread all new levels of crazy with her slurred speech and misuse of adjectives while cooing over so-so teen talent.

In the true spirit of looking a gift horse in the mouth, Paula recently turned down what was allegedly an 8 figure contract for the upcoming Idol season.

At the risk of copying Amy & Seth on SNL’s Weekend Update, REALLY?! REALLY, PAULA? Was it so hard to be sandwiched in between Randy & Simon? REALLY? Sure, hiring Kara DiAmbrosiaouout was a bit of a slam, but by the end of last season, everyone liked you more anyway.

Are the folks at Bravo begging for you to come back for Season 2 of “Hey Paula”? REALLY?!

I look forward to your very special appearance on Nickelodeon’s “iCarly” and/or “Dance Your Ass Off” on the WE channel.

Think you might have “Rush-Rushed’ that decision.

Speaking of, check out the attached AMAZING long music video featuring an A-list actor. Arguably his best work.

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